Originally posted May 8th
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Today was so much better than yesterday - other than it's Sunday and I have work tomorrow - gag!
No cat vomit, no neck cricks, and the television was off as were the lights and all other major electronic items.
I get to Joel Hall Dance Studio and No David 2 is at the front desk, which is encouraging as he is a professional dancer (or was) and still teaches dance classes at the studio. I've only had a few 'front desk encounters' with No David 2 - so I'm hoping everything will be fine.
I register easily enough and walk into class to find lil Ms. BabyMaker still teaching the Sunday noon class. I haven't been to a Sunday class in months. I think Lil Miss is a touch crazy. Mr. Heinz ain't got nothing on this lady....I think. I haven't been to his class in more than 6 months.
At any rate, we all line up at the barre.
Side Bar: This is NOT going to END well.
Menty: Didn't you say that yesterday?
Side Bar: It's still true....
There are 7 people in class, 5 women and 2 men. We line up at barre and with her baby strapped to her front, Lil Miss begins with plies. The plies are familiar - two demis, two grandes and a port de bra in first, second, fourth and fifth positions.
And then she loses her everloving mind....
We have two tendu combinations - crazy as hell and crazy as hell on crack! The first tendu combination involved one slow, then two quick, first, second, back fifth position, second with the fourth count alternating plie, coupe in releve position then back to coupe, fifth - of course - we had to do that again. The second tendu combination went so bad I've blocked it from my mind -and you guessed it! We did it again.
We move onto degages - we manage this one a bit better but we must do it -yet again. Sixteen degages at warp speed, followed by 8 eleves - followed by sixteen more degages at warp speed and 8 more eleves - wash, rinse, repeat. My thighs started crying - ok, they were sweating from the sheer volume and speed of the movement. I didn't think my legs could move so fast. But needless to say, my fat reverb was pissed!!
Side Bar mutters "Crashing and burning - all of us - crashing and burning..."
We head into rond de jambes battle weary. The combination was so long and convoluted, we all forgot the rest after the first 32 counts....parts of it on releve, reversing directions, half rond de jambes - rond de jambes in little l'air -grande l'air - all this at macho 10!
"Ok everybody - we HAVE to do this right the first time because I CANNOT do this again." Side Bar blurts out.
And I almost don't know what's worse - knowing I don't know and looking for someone in front to lead - or knowing I don't know and KNOWING NO ONE ELSE KNOWS WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON EITHER!!!!
And of course, we must do it again - resigned at having to repeat this debauchery, I attempt to do what I can remember at a speed I can manage since she's yelling about turnout and technique.
Side Bar: And she is married and has reproduced? Who the hell married her? Rasputin?
The rest of class passes in a blur of frappes, fondus, battements, the LONGEST ADAGIO known to man in a BEGINNER CLASS EVER, jumps, and one traveling floor combination because we run out of time (Thank You Ethereal!!!)
I run out to spend an hour with my Mom watching Mob Wives (nothing like quality time) before I get home to wash off the terror of that class.
It's like starting all over again - but worse because I do know JUST ENOUGH TO BE DANGEROUS...
___________________________________________________________
Today was so much better than yesterday - other than it's Sunday and I have work tomorrow - gag!
No cat vomit, no neck cricks, and the television was off as were the lights and all other major electronic items.
I get to Joel Hall Dance Studio and No David 2 is at the front desk, which is encouraging as he is a professional dancer (or was) and still teaches dance classes at the studio. I've only had a few 'front desk encounters' with No David 2 - so I'm hoping everything will be fine.
I register easily enough and walk into class to find lil Ms. BabyMaker still teaching the Sunday noon class. I haven't been to a Sunday class in months. I think Lil Miss is a touch crazy. Mr. Heinz ain't got nothing on this lady....I think. I haven't been to his class in more than 6 months.
At any rate, we all line up at the barre.
Side Bar: This is NOT going to END well.
Menty: Didn't you say that yesterday?
Side Bar: It's still true....
There are 7 people in class, 5 women and 2 men. We line up at barre and with her baby strapped to her front, Lil Miss begins with plies. The plies are familiar - two demis, two grandes and a port de bra in first, second, fourth and fifth positions.
And then she loses her everloving mind....
We have two tendu combinations - crazy as hell and crazy as hell on crack! The first tendu combination involved one slow, then two quick, first, second, back fifth position, second with the fourth count alternating plie, coupe in releve position then back to coupe, fifth - of course - we had to do that again. The second tendu combination went so bad I've blocked it from my mind -and you guessed it! We did it again.
We move onto degages - we manage this one a bit better but we must do it -yet again. Sixteen degages at warp speed, followed by 8 eleves - followed by sixteen more degages at warp speed and 8 more eleves - wash, rinse, repeat. My thighs started crying - ok, they were sweating from the sheer volume and speed of the movement. I didn't think my legs could move so fast. But needless to say, my fat reverb was pissed!!
Side Bar mutters "Crashing and burning - all of us - crashing and burning..."
We head into rond de jambes battle weary. The combination was so long and convoluted, we all forgot the rest after the first 32 counts....parts of it on releve, reversing directions, half rond de jambes - rond de jambes in little l'air -grande l'air - all this at macho 10!
"Ok everybody - we HAVE to do this right the first time because I CANNOT do this again." Side Bar blurts out.
And I almost don't know what's worse - knowing I don't know and looking for someone in front to lead - or knowing I don't know and KNOWING NO ONE ELSE KNOWS WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON EITHER!!!!
And of course, we must do it again - resigned at having to repeat this debauchery, I attempt to do what I can remember at a speed I can manage since she's yelling about turnout and technique.
Side Bar: And she is married and has reproduced? Who the hell married her? Rasputin?
The rest of class passes in a blur of frappes, fondus, battements, the LONGEST ADAGIO known to man in a BEGINNER CLASS EVER, jumps, and one traveling floor combination because we run out of time (Thank You Ethereal!!!)
I run out to spend an hour with my Mom watching Mob Wives (nothing like quality time) before I get home to wash off the terror of that class.
It's like starting all over again - but worse because I do know JUST ENOUGH TO BE DANGEROUS...
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