Fear of Falling....

Originally posted on Tuesday, April 5th

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I feel like a fear addict. I go from one thing to the next - afraid of this, afraid of that, afraid, afraid, afraid. 

I don't know why as a kid I thought that being a grown up would exempt you from it because I'm older, bigger, smarter (maybe? sometimes? ok - maybe on Sundays?). 

I pack my ass and haul my cookies to Joel Hall. I register and pick up a flier for the Saturday night show. I'm going already, but I plan to send some friends the info.

I get into class and MDB is wearing dance clothes instead of layered in three different pairs of pants. I peel out of my layers, put on my shoes and rub my cold toes. I don't know why I have the world's coldest feet, but it's damn hard to do a releve on the balls of your feet and front of toes when you can't feel them!!

MDB and I discuss my Thursday night instructor and the Sunday morning instructor.

I told her how I can tell that my Thursday night instructor teaches children because she says crazy things like "I'm so glad you all did it - oh wait - you're all adults." Side Bar: She can have that one - I know some of the people in here are short.  

MDB says she gets people that say that about her sometimes (she gives commentary that sounds like it's for the PG group instead of adults), but it just makes her meaner to them.

She must be trying to tell me something.....but I'm going to ignore it. :)

And I've all but decided that I can make one Sunday a month. Side Bar: That b*tch is crazy. That's right. She crazy. She wants five things to be right.....at warp speed. Then cuts off the music, gives us commentary and then makes us do it again - and she wonders why we don't have time for floor combinations...huh.

  

The junior dance class walks out and I walk over to my usual spot and assume the position - first, belly in, legs straight, shoulders back and down. MDB starts talking - plies, first, second, fifth position, two demis, one grande, releve, plie in between, chambres forward, side and back respectively. My body is on automatic.

We do another plie/releve exercise facing the barre, then move into tendus. The tendu combination is simple enough but the head is changing position with the feet - this is familiar but not practiced. 

Side Bar: We finally get to the point (pun totally intended) where we aren't watching our feet and have an inkling of where the arm goes and NOW we have to worry about head placement?

Menty: It's MDB - she wants it all. 

SIde Bar: I got something she can have -and it ain't an apple...

Menty: Shove it. Practice makes perfect

Side Bar: Then we need to quit working and practice full time

Menty: Whateva...

We move into degages, rond de jambes, frappes and battements. The moves are familiar, the combinations change - which goes to show that you don't need to have an extensive vocabulary - just creativity in putting them together. 

We do a short adagio with tendus and a polles and then add two battements, chasse and two arabesque battements into the mix. 

Side Bar: If we just add an egg - we could have cookies

Menty: Shut up

We move into the floor combinations and it's not long before we have pirouettes. I muster my courage to try double pirouettes, but I'm afraid.

I'd fallen three times in March-all in attempts to spot pirouettes. The first two times I went down, I jumped up. I gave myself a little head shake and brushed myself off. The third time, I just laid there. Then I reached up, grabbed my iPhone and played Angry Birds for a couple minutes.

I didn't know if I should call someone to help me or if I just lay there. I was hurt and I felt foolish. Do I get up and try again? Should I take a hot bath? Who do you call in case of stupidity??? Because if I can't do one pirouette turn correctly - why in the hell would I think a DOUBLE would be attainable?  

So I handle the combinations but I'm a little hesitant about the pirouettes. I take a deep breath before each pirouette and brace for falling. We complete the combination 4 times in total (two right side leading, two left side leading). 

We move into the prep work for tour jetes - and if I was afraid of falling before - I should wear Depends for the rest of April!!!!!