Apparently When It Rains....

I walk through the door ready to give David my apologies for missing his event (again), but he's not there. One of the instructors is manning the desk. I'm a little worried. David is really good at his job...and while it looks simple - David can be registering, taking payment, answering the phone and giving you the stink eye all at the same time!!

Lil Black Chick has made it to another Tuesday class. I miss her when she's gone because then MDB just has me to pick on - I mean correct :) and while there are other semi-regulars I don't name them. There is 6 of us with MDB making seven. 

We start facing the barre from some fancy tendu and flex business before moving into our standard plies. MDB introduces us to tendu madness with some timed bouncing business and we try NOT to look around the room at each other....ummmm..did you catch that timing? No. Did you?? WTF all around. 

MDB oblivious or just unconcerned -hits the music and is conveniently distracted by the registration instruction. We screw it up but manage to pull some of it outta our ass before she turns her attention back to us. 

MDB says, "Umm...I'm going to assume you did fine on the right side, so let's go to the left"

Side Bar: Hehehehehehehe

Menty: I think she saw that...

Side Bar: But will she make us do it again???

We get a free pass, but not on the next round of degages. We make it through rond de jambes with lots of 'lift your pelvis' and 'control your abs but release your hip flexors' - aka lots of WTF faces. So just to be friendly I say - I'd rather it remain a mystery. And we all laugh. The end of the rond de jamb combination called for an arabesque with arms and upper body in a polay (that is SO misspelled) and one the first side MDB took so long to get around to me that I had stopped and put my hand on my hip (everyone else was still holding until she could inspect - silly rabbits!). MDB laughs and shakes her head....and SO DOES THE WHOLE CLASS. 

We stretch and move into our battements - second position battements still suck for me. 

Taking deep breaths and trying not to go UGHGHGHGHGHGH!! when it's time to lift isn't a pleasant feeling. I must admit that some nights are easier than others and I just might get the hang of it yet. 

We move into a tendu-esque adagio when all of sudden the rain intensity has picked up and a couple of quick series of lightening flashes and thunder booms. 

Side Bar: I vote we go home now. Anybody with me???

Menty: And GO OUT IN THAT? I PASS

Physie: What about my hair??

Side Bar: Damn...I think that means I'm out voted

Menty: Or voted off....

We proceed into jumps (more lightening and thunder) and move into our traveling floor combos. MDB must have been feeling kind or really doesn't want to see me come to class in Depends (with floral print - thanks, Dawn!), so we don't do tour jetes. We handle some chasse, echappe, jete business on both sides (sometimes with the head position - sometimes not), and we do pique turns, a jump(?) chasse and a grand jete. I almost run into one person going in one direction and the wall in the other - damn these long legs!!

But something else occurred to me last night - I wasn't afraid of the floor work part of the class. I still think it's the hardest, but I can live with that ;)

Side Note: MDB did get rained on in the room :) The water found a crack in the ceiling and came down right as she was instructing us on the last combo. She moves fast for someone so tiny - I will TOTALLY give her that!

Not One Fear Inducing, Hive Creating, Depends Worthy Moment

Originally posted on April 16th

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Joel Hall was fairly quiet on Thursday night. David wasn't at the front desk keeping up his usual string of background chatter with some lucky personage blessed with his attention. And while there is usually a line of us hankering for his partially divided attention - someone else is in his seat tonight. 

I registered and saw Ashley Olsen (of the Olsen twins) on the list already. I'm hoping class will still go because her name is the only name on there. I round the corner and Miss M and Ashley are sitting on the bench; Ashley engaged in a book, Miss M watching Will G's class through their routine. 

The Jazz class lets out and we have grown to a class of four. Will is wrapping up with two students. Miss M and the ladies are putting their things down and Will says: We have to go - I got PUT OUT last time. And I snap my fingers like Damn Right! We both laugh and I give him a hug. I tell him MDB wants to hire my services. And we both laugh again. 

We line up and get down to ballet business: plies - two demis, a releve, a port de bra in first, second, fourth and fifth. Tendus move along briskly -emphasis on the 'out' first and then on the 'in' - we add the arm business because we are doing alright. Next, degages with a balance with arms in high fifth to end- I wobble - my toes are still warming up.  Rond de jambes are turning into my favorite move  - I envision creating the letter D in the sand using my toes - until I have to lift my leg off the ground - then I envision a ham hock dangling in the air as if by magic :). We frappe the floor into submission - ok, I do. It's my understanding that you are SUPPOSE to STRIKE the floor (not hammer it), but sometimes I'm the only one making noise - which makes me freakin' self-conscious - but whatever. We stretch before moving into the battement business. I still HATE battements. I'm ok with front and back (still not the greatest, but I can FEEL my ANXIETY rising when I have to battement in second position. Side Bar, Menty and Physie are all holding their breath and hoping I can heave my leg into the right position in the air. We (ok, me) thank ethereal when it's over. 

We make it onto the center floor combinations and have a short adagio - with whip cream no less. Ok, no whip. Then we all move into balances (bow -len-says - not balance like balance beam). Miss M has a thing for them - but her balances don't have the same follow through as MDBs. It's a little more waltzy. We do some jumping with some beat business. And mostly we all are just happy we don't break our toes.

The traveling combinations don't involve not ONE FEAR INDUCING, HIVE CREATING, DEPENDS WORTHY moments and while I didn't nail each one of these, I was pretty satisfied with my class. 

What'd You Just Say??

Originally Posted April 9th

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I know this one is late, but better late than never. MDB's class can be so strange and odd that I have to get it all out that night - but Miss M can be so freakin' bubbly that Side Bar is addled into submission and Menty sits quietly -possibly contemplating knitting???

After getting registered, I haul my cookies to the Studio D and watch Hip Hop/Jazz/Modern extraordinaire Will G. put a group of 12 people through their Jazz paces. I start sweating just watching them. 

I put on my shoes as skinny 1 & 2 round the corner...

Side Bar: Ahhh Shit! I thought they were scared silly...

Menty: Guess not..

Side Bar: F*ckin' Friendly Hormones (FFH)...

Skinny 1 & 2 come and sit RIGHT next to me and start talking like we go back to cloth drapers and fat crayons. And then Skinny 1 tells me that she came back to class because of me. I didn't cringe outwardly, but my right upper eyelid started to twitch slightly. 

Side Bar: FFH 

Will frees the captives from Jazz prison and they flee like roaches with the lights cut on. Miss M has wandered over to our little collective and is waiting to slide into the room. Will is still talking in the corner to two students  - in front of the ipod connection and stereo. Miss M looks a little hesitant to ask them to leave....and she's kinda hovering near the group but not saying anything. 

Deep Sigh...I must intercede or Miss M will stand there forever...

"Will! Move your tush, babe! We got ballet class now." 

"Oh yeah. Sorry, hon." Will says and grabs his things, his students and moves out. 

After Will clears, Miss M thanks me for saying something. And Skinny 1 asks if I know all the teachers....not yet :)

Class starts with 9 people - 7 women, 1 girl and 1 boy (a mom brought her son and daughter - which is cute because this is the second time they've come - I kinda thought the boy would drop this like hot cakes, but he's hanging in there). 

Skinny 1 & 2 line up at the barre behind me.  "Because you're easy to follow." Skinny 1 said. 

Side Bar: Did she just call me fat?

We move through the plies, tendus, degages and rond de jambs with Skinny 1 asking me questions about foot positions and arm positions. I'm not the teacher - Miss M is, but I answer as quickly and quietly as possible. She screwing up my focus, but I'm trying to be nice - even though I think she called me fat. 

We move through the frappes and battements without any other distractions and move into the adagio, warm up with jumps and then move into the petit allegro and grande allegro. Skinny 1 tries to stay with me, but Miss M separates us into different groups for the first traveling floor combo. They both manage to get into my group for the second traveling floor combo of glissade, pas de shaw (that is SO not the spelling but that's how it sounds).

We thank Miss M for class and starting piling on the clothes. Skinny 1 says that I'm graceful and she likes to watch me do the adagio - not just because she doesn't know what she's doing.

So maybe, possibly, definitely she didn't call me fat.

Maybe I just have an aversion to skinny women but I happen to like the Olsen twins, MDB, the Swan and a few skinny others.   

Fear of Falling....

Originally posted on Tuesday, April 5th

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I feel like a fear addict. I go from one thing to the next - afraid of this, afraid of that, afraid, afraid, afraid. 

I don't know why as a kid I thought that being a grown up would exempt you from it because I'm older, bigger, smarter (maybe? sometimes? ok - maybe on Sundays?). 

I pack my ass and haul my cookies to Joel Hall. I register and pick up a flier for the Saturday night show. I'm going already, but I plan to send some friends the info.

I get into class and MDB is wearing dance clothes instead of layered in three different pairs of pants. I peel out of my layers, put on my shoes and rub my cold toes. I don't know why I have the world's coldest feet, but it's damn hard to do a releve on the balls of your feet and front of toes when you can't feel them!!

MDB and I discuss my Thursday night instructor and the Sunday morning instructor.

I told her how I can tell that my Thursday night instructor teaches children because she says crazy things like "I'm so glad you all did it - oh wait - you're all adults." Side Bar: She can have that one - I know some of the people in here are short.  

MDB says she gets people that say that about her sometimes (she gives commentary that sounds like it's for the PG group instead of adults), but it just makes her meaner to them.

She must be trying to tell me something.....but I'm going to ignore it. :)

And I've all but decided that I can make one Sunday a month. Side Bar: That b*tch is crazy. That's right. She crazy. She wants five things to be right.....at warp speed. Then cuts off the music, gives us commentary and then makes us do it again - and she wonders why we don't have time for floor combinations...huh.

  

The junior dance class walks out and I walk over to my usual spot and assume the position - first, belly in, legs straight, shoulders back and down. MDB starts talking - plies, first, second, fifth position, two demis, one grande, releve, plie in between, chambres forward, side and back respectively. My body is on automatic.

We do another plie/releve exercise facing the barre, then move into tendus. The tendu combination is simple enough but the head is changing position with the feet - this is familiar but not practiced. 

Side Bar: We finally get to the point (pun totally intended) where we aren't watching our feet and have an inkling of where the arm goes and NOW we have to worry about head placement?

Menty: It's MDB - she wants it all. 

SIde Bar: I got something she can have -and it ain't an apple...

Menty: Shove it. Practice makes perfect

Side Bar: Then we need to quit working and practice full time

Menty: Whateva...

We move into degages, rond de jambes, frappes and battements. The moves are familiar, the combinations change - which goes to show that you don't need to have an extensive vocabulary - just creativity in putting them together. 

We do a short adagio with tendus and a polles and then add two battements, chasse and two arabesque battements into the mix. 

Side Bar: If we just add an egg - we could have cookies

Menty: Shut up

We move into the floor combinations and it's not long before we have pirouettes. I muster my courage to try double pirouettes, but I'm afraid.

I'd fallen three times in March-all in attempts to spot pirouettes. The first two times I went down, I jumped up. I gave myself a little head shake and brushed myself off. The third time, I just laid there. Then I reached up, grabbed my iPhone and played Angry Birds for a couple minutes.

I didn't know if I should call someone to help me or if I just lay there. I was hurt and I felt foolish. Do I get up and try again? Should I take a hot bath? Who do you call in case of stupidity??? Because if I can't do one pirouette turn correctly - why in the hell would I think a DOUBLE would be attainable?  

So I handle the combinations but I'm a little hesitant about the pirouettes. I take a deep breath before each pirouette and brace for falling. We complete the combination 4 times in total (two right side leading, two left side leading). 

We move into the prep work for tour jetes - and if I was afraid of falling before - I should wear Depends for the rest of April!!!!!