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I sat on my bed gathering my courage for class tonight. My friend and dance student, Madam D, told me last night that she wanted to smack the shit outta Desdemona. She said it with such hostility that I almost reminded her that its the name of a voice in my head - and we unfortunately couldn't be separated - and DON'T SMACK ME!!
So as I sat gathering, my mind wandered. Desdemona was nowhere to be found. Side Bar was MIA. Physie is always present - and aching, but accounted for nonetheless. I give myself the once, twice, thrice over. Nope - still not happy with what I see. Should I go to class? Should I stay home? Neither option was really appealing, but dancing always makes me happy - and seeing MDB is like a cherry on top.
I'm finished gathering, so I change into my dance clothes - and then I change into different dance clothes....and then I change one more time when I realize I'm not going to find what I'm looking for - a slimmer body isn't in the closet. I sigh, turn off the light, close the closet door and head for the front door. I'm late, but I run back for MDB's red apple.
I make it to class and MDB is just going through the first round of tendus at the barre. I round out the class making it 4 people - 3 women, 1 man - 2 of them are from second company. MDB turns around and heads toward me, we hug and I hand her a huge apple, then I run over to the barre. I started to line up behind the woman from second company, but she was facing the mirror - and I just wanted to avoid the mirror tonight.
We go through tendus facing the barre, then our usual plies with releve this time, more tendu combinations with some flexing business and port de bras, degages with pas de cheval in first, second, and fifth. We move to rond de jambes and I'm waiting to hear Desdemona pipe up - but it's all silence tonight. Even Menty -my encourager is missing. It's just me, myself and I. I move through rond de jambes and head into frappes - and the ball of my foot kept getting stuck. We do leg stretches at the barre and then swing our battements in attitude and extended.
We move to center floor and do an adagio to a different angle which threw me off, but I think I recovered ok. We had to promenade in arabesque for a whole rotation - then last one I almost lost it so I hopped :) - oh well. My name isn't Grace. We move on to echappes and I'm at least getting the right arm placement with the legs - where as before it was too much to even do the arms with the legs. We follow this with other little one legged jumps that look really cute. Then we move to the side and do chasse, pas de bournee, pirouette combination ending with a glissade and assemblage. Before I would have cringed at glissade and assemblage - especially together, but I'm not scared anymore. I still don't perform them with much expertise, but it's getting easier. Then we do prep for this really hard kicking, spinning twist...don't ask. It will eventually be called a tour jete - but I'm sure it's going to be called the Face Plant.
The hour and thirty minutes seemed to fly by. I hug MDB one more time before she heads off eating her apple and teaching the second company ballet class and I head to my car. Even as I write this, my usual voices are silent. It's strange and pleasant all at the same time. But....where is everyone??
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