I didn't go to class last night. I've been keeping a stiff upper lip all week.
Desde, Side Bar and Menty have been quiet since Wednesday and the silence is deafening. I guess I never realized how MUCH talking goes on in there until everyone shuts down.
The mirror won last night. I conceded defeat until I have courage enough to look again. The idea of going into class last night was more than I could bear. And part of it has to do with the way I feel about how I look and then being surrounded by everyone I would prefer to look like instead. So I didn't bother going through the closet. I didn't talk myself into getting into my car. Bonus that I knew MDB would not be teaching - if she was, I would have felt even more like crap for ditching.
Instead, I drew myself a bubble bath and read Chicken Noodle Soup for the Woman's Soul looking for encouragement. It's really hard when you aren't happy with the way you look. And as if there is some sick comsic ironic joke going on - I've been called beautiful more this week than I have probably my whole freakin' life. It's one thing to hear, another to accept it, and something completely different to believe it's true. And it has nothing to do with humility.
I was just all couraged out.....
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