Believing in Honesty - might get you in trouble

Since I've been out of ballet class for about two weeks, I'm kinda anxious to get back into ballet shape. I can really feel the difference when I'm not taking classes - mostly everything starts to ache during class. 

MDB told us in Thursday night class that Sunday beginner ballet (and a few other classes) were going to be half price (WEEEE!! Cheap dance classes!!!). Lil Black Chick also happens to mention this new chick is hard. But the Olsen twins are talking about coming so I'm in. One of the newer women in Thursday class also mentions going, which is encouraging. Side Bar is listening - Menty is politely ignoring that and Physie wants to stay in bed.

Of course to complicate matters, I go out Saturday night and get in at 4am.....so I wake up with a little headache. I do a mental, physical and emotional body check - physical seems to be fine, check - emotional seems to be ok (I'm probably not going to cry if I go to class), check - mental is a little foggy but up for the challenge (maybe, sorta, kinda - what the hell!). 

So I get to class a little late and apologize for my tardiness...and lo and behold the teacher (also of the little woman ballet tribe that Joel Hall has in a closet somewhere) has a baby hog tied to her stomach.....

Side Bar: CUE THE TWILIGHT MUSIC - And Not that stupid ass tweeny vampire movie either!!

Menty: Ummm....that's different....

Side Bar: REALLY? That's all you got, Menty? Different?

Menty: Are we still drunk??

Side Bar: That's BETTER!!

I notice Ms. J is in class and Mac from the Thursday night class, who is becoming a regular - no Olsen twin sightings. And I guess Lil Black Chick pretty much said she wasn't coming to class....

I haven't decided what to name this teacher, but Hog Tied is a little too obvious - maybe I'll leave to you all and it can be readers choice. 

Class in the fishbowl - the horror! And the line of cars for the carwash across the street is backed up so we are also Sunday morning entertainment for the SUV owners.  Insert my sarcastic, smart-assy voice here: OH, GREAT!!! 

She gives us a plie combination similar to MDB's - insert false sense of comfort here. Then we move into tendus, then tendus with degages - each of these have some funky weird timing -alternating speeds with piques and petite battements - and then I see it - Lil Miss Babymaker here has a NOTEBOOK!!! With NOTES!!! 

Side Bar: We are in trouble...

Menty: Thanks, Captain Obvious! Any other OBVIOUS observations or is that going to be it for now?

She then moves us into frappes, rond de jambes that aren't full rounds - more like half of hams instead - and battements - but NOT just regular battements! One 'normal' battement, one battement with fondu (and not chocolate or cheese by the way), another normal one and then one on eleve!!! And THEN she puts on SUPER FAST music for these damn things!!

Side Bar: We have NOW entered.....THE TWILIGHT ZONE!!!

Menty: ACK!!!!!

Physie: I think we can make it to the door....

Of course, we screw up...royally. So she turns off the music...and takes a dramatic pause and says: Ok, I want you all to know I believe in honesty and that was TERRIBLE! So we are going to do it again. You need to melt, elevate, lengthen and work your turnout. 

To which Side Bar replies OUTLOUD: Well, what's more important to you? Speed or accuracy - cause you can't have both! Everyone laughs - she says accuracy - I said then pick a slower song, please! We all laugh, but it's true. And we are MUCH better the second time. 

We move to the floor combinations and she gives us the lengthy adagio. She gives us the pep talk - I want you to elevate, lengthen, flow, work your turnout. I asked first: Which of those things are important to you because you can only have one. Again, everyone laughs - Ms J. and Mac turn to me and smile. And like MDB, she's greedy - she wants it all. I clarify one more time - she's only going to get one....but she turns on the music. SUCKER!! I told her!!

We sucked....so she turns off the music, gives us the dramatic pause again....and says: That. Was. Horrible. We are going to do that again - WORK YOUR TURNOUT! 

Side Bar again pipes up: Is everyone clear? She really wants the turnout! 

Everyone laughs again - I think the baby even laughed - or maybe it was gas!?!?! 

At the end of class, the teacher walked over to me and said: Do I know you? I think I know you....you had a great class today. 

Side Bar: Hehehehehehe (evil laughter)

I introduce myself and tell her that I take classes with MDB during the week -and I also believe in honesty!

:) 

I'll Send a Card and No Cigar.....

Originally posted on February 24th - ENJOY

I've been away for awhile. Sometimes work and personal life collide in a not so pleasant mix of exclusion of my personal life. 

The problem isn't the working...it's the feeling of isolation. I am surrounded by people that I could care less about and they seem to care even less about me (with the exception of a few of my coworkers)- my purpose is a means to an end - I'm interchangeable as any other named employee that could/should/would get that answer...and not just now, but yesterday. 

During a normal work week, I walk out the door of my workplace and don't think about again until the next morning when I'm getting dressed. I go home and can connect with people that mean something to me and whom I mean something to. So going to ballet class tonight to see MDB is a no brainer. 

Normally when I'm gone, I'm really nervous about coming back. Not tonight. Tonight I'm just looking forward to seeing David behind the desk, maybe an Olsen twin or two, Lil Black Chick and MDB with one or two ponytails, a big smile and a tight hug. I'm not disappointed.

As I watch Mrs. B's class in the fishbowl, MDB walks through the door. We smile, we hug. Mutual missing on both sides. I change and secure my place (in front!) at the barre. Class is exceptionally full tonight. There are 12 women in class - 13 including MDB. We start with our standard plies, two demi's and a grande in first, second, fifth and fourth position. We extend and point into our tendus, flick our ankles at the degages, strike the floor violently with our frappes, stir the pot with our rond de jambes and finish the barre with our battements.

Now during these combinations, MDB picks, prods and pokes - 'this side is fine, it's the other side' -'do you feel the difference? or is it the same?' 'Here is your turn out. I think that bottom foot could be turned out more...' I put my hand on my own hip during battements! She came over with her little fingers to get my hip sockets - I even said 'Let me get the mouse traps!"

She even said, "I must be picking on you because I missed you."

Side Bar: Next time- I'll send you a card!!!

We jump and then move through an adagio with pirouettes. Since almost everyone (me excluded?? Probably not) had our arms too high - MDB then takes this time to provide us with a lovely bit of advise: do NOT cover YOUR NIPPLES with your Hands. Of course, we totally nail it after that. 

I complete a series of skips with an assemblage finish (which I did right and received a compliment on! - Whew!), moved into a balance turning movement across the floor. We are almost out of time and MDB mocks a brief reverence for us and says: "It's not important, but it is important - you never know when you will end up on stage......"To which I respond: "Yea! You DO!"

Side Bar: When was the last time you walked through a door and unexpectedly ended up on stage?

Menty: That would be....ummm...gee....never...

Side Bar: How embarrassing would that be if you went into a door expecting the bathroom and TA DA - time to perform a reverence!!!!

When class ended, MDB and I hug again and I tell her to be nice to me on Monday :). She just smiles and laughs...I'm taking that to mean - no cigar :)

Good Teachers Don't Grow on Trees: They Come from Carolina!

This note was originally posted on my facebook page on February 10th - in addition to taking ballet classes - I also happen to work. So sometimes there are long silences between posts - but now you have catch up reading to do....ENJOY!!

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I walked into MDB's class tonight still smarting from Mr. Heinz's careless closure of my regular Wednesday night debauchery classes. While I was as regular as could be expected for an international event planner, I guess I wasn't regular enough to warrant an email notice. 

MDB, however, gives advance notice - and typically it's her sub that flakes out - which she can't help and I wouldn't hold that against her anyway. MDB even sent me a message to tell me that class was cancelled on blizzard night...I seriously heart MDB. 

So MDB has 5 women in class including the Olsen twins when I walk through the door. And apparently, MDB has been telling them stories about ME....something to effect of calling her a liar...WHO? ME? I clarify that MDB has this particular thing she likes to say. And everyone just falls for it because she's short and cute with an slight southern accent. And ham, that she is, MDB says "And I SMILE!" LMAO!! Which is true - she does smile!

I say hi to the Olsen twins, which makes them laugh. And the 4 newbies laugh and I tell them that this is the most I will be talking during the whole class and I only nickname regulars - but I never clarified to what purpose I use these nicknames. 

We have two men join us so the class rounds out with 7 women and 2 men. Lil Yellow has come back - apparently his ego has gotten over the issue of not pointing his feet. PC (Pretty Clueless) is missing in action, but I don't want to count him out yet.

Mary Kate and I line up at a barre in the middle of floor and handle the usual plies, a flavorful tendu combination, a savory degage assembly, tasty frappe selection, sizzling rond de jambes and swinging grande battements. The tendus include demis, full, and flexes. The degages are rhythmic and 'hamster height'. The frappes violently strike the floor into obedience, while the rond de jambes push to find the perfect second position and pique to points. The battements come out swinging in fours and coup to test your control and all the while:

Menty: Don't lift the hip. Don't lift the hip. Don't lift the hip. 

Side Bar: Don't lift the hip. Don't lift the hip. Don't lift the hip.

Physie: Don't lift the hip. Don't lift the hip. Don't lift the hip

MDB: HIGHER!!

Side Bar: Hey! Be quiet out there - we are all focused here!!!

MDB: I'm greedy. I know - I want it all. She laughs and smiles and goes and picks on Lil Yellow. 

Menty: She is greedy!! But I like her :)

We put away the barres and move to the adagio. She shows us twice on each side and then we try it - then we try it again. My retire to the knee needs to come to the front immediately, but I can't seem to finangle the foot moving with the arms and head...we move onto the foot warm up exercise when I realize I have a question about the adagio. MDB answers it and I know I'm going to go home and practice - TOMORROW. 

We move into the waltz turn across the floor, followed by bouncy hops and skips while trying to maintain 'hang' time, and finish with pique turns. 

MDB says she might turn one of the Beginner Ballet classes on Monday or Tuesday into a Level 1 class. I vote for Tuesday, please. I know the Olsen twins can't make Tuesday, but they don't write a blog about class or bring fresh produce, or give nicknames or wear belly dance pants or come as regularly or have their hair braided....ok, so that last one might not be valid...but I'm just saying :)

See you next Thursday, MDB. And thanks for being reliable, funny, kind, witty, talented and wonderful teacher and person. I always look forward to your smiling face, ponytails and weird visualizations :)

Bye Bye Mr. Heinz

For several of my followers, you are quite aware of all the anxiety, fear and angst I go through just to make myself go to Mr. Heinz's class when I'm not stymied by work, fear or natural disasters (thanks, blizzie!). So to finally not feel anxiety and not need my armor of black was pretty cool tonight. 

I worked late because I was out of the office sick for two days before an upcoming event. I get home in time to layer up for class, gather up Spunk, pay for an hour of parking and dash to class. 

However, without notice, acknowledgment or sideways glance, Mr. Heinz's cancelled class tonight - maybe one hour prior to start. Seeing as I don't live close and offered to pick up Spunk in the process, I didn't see that class was cancelled before layering up and packing down to haul cookies to the studio. Spunk and I arrive just as one of the owners and a fellow regular come out the studio door in boots, coats and scarves. 

"I sent you a message." the owner says to Spunk. I obviously don't come regularly enough to warrant an email but I'm not offended. "He was tired or something." The other regular isn't looking too happy about this turn of events either.  

Not only is class cancelled tonight - Wednesday night class is cancelled. Indefinitely...I guess until he's not tired on Wednesday anymore.  

I offer Curly (the other regular) a ride because she's waiting for the bus. As I drop off Spunk and Curly, I think about all the effort it takes for me to come to Mr. Heinz's class. So I'm not offended that class is cancelled, I'm pissed. 

There are times when I, as a teacher, am tired and I don't want to teach or I just want to go out with friends or do something completely different - but I don't because I have students that put in time and effort to make it to my class. I had a student taking the TRAIN FROM OAK PARK to take my belly dancing class. I couldn't just CANCEL because I felt tired...how inconsiderate would that be. 

And while I volunteered to drop off my fellow regulars, how much longer would their nights have been if I hadn't offered them a ride home?

Mr. Heinz doesn't teach another beginner class. So bye bye Mr. Heinz. Maybe I'll see you next lifetime.

Timber, Fore and BEEP,BEEP, BEEP!

(I've fallen behind in keeping my blog spot abreast of my ballet adventure on January 31st - the adventure before this happened on January 31st - this one is current)

Tonight was a waffle night.

Last Tuesday began the Blizzard of 2011 that didn't end until Wednesday morning-ish. I made it to class on Monday night, but Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights - nothing. 

Tuesday night I couldn't even see the street lights one block ahead. Wednesday morning, I go outside with the rest of the building and dig out the sidewalks, back stairs, a path to the dumpster and my car. Thursday afternoon, my fair city decides my two side streets are worthy of clearing, so I must go back out and re-dig an exit for my car. 

So tonight I waffle about going to class. I haven't been to class in over a week. I'm going to miss a few classes next week because of work - what's another day??? 

Side Bar: Dear Aunt Flow came for a visit -let's take a break.

Menty: Do you really want to go to Mr. Heinz's class to start back??

Side Bar: Physie - Get the HELL up and put on some clothes! Menty's talking crazy!!

Menty: I'm just saying - I prefer my crazy in a little petite package with one or two ponytails with funny imagery and laughter. But you want to try crazy in a 6 foot 6 male package with a french accent - fine by me. 

Physie: Where's that tank top!?!

I didn't waffle for very long...I park a block and a half away because the street parking around the center looks like the rest of Chicago right now - a used furniture lot.  And instead of taking my chances with the three legged chair owner, I decide to just park further away and hoof it back. 

David checks me in and I only see two other names on the list. I hear MDB talking around the corner so I interrupt her conversation for a quick hug and run to the back for class. Mrs. B is leaving class and hoveling a little bit. MDB asks her what's wrong - and Mrs. B says "I'm OLD!" and starts laughing. I tell MDB to tell Mrs. B she should jump becauseJUMPING MAKES YOU YOUNG! We all laugh at that. 

Ms. J and the Young One are in class. The Young One is wearing point shoes. MDB starts the three of us off with our usual plies. And just when Side Bar is about to get going with how much trouble we are going to be in if there's only three - land then like magic - every 2 minutes or so someone new walks into class. The last person to join us is a petit Asian man with a very feminine hair cut. We rounded off at a lovely even 8. 

MDB keeps class interesting with messing with the recipes - our tendus and degages have new timing and rhythms. Our frappes have slow and fast petit battements. Our battements are pointing and closing...

Side Bar: Maybe Mr. Heinz ain't so bad...that first class of the year wasn't bad at all...

Menty: We're doing alright - it's the riding crop she's talking about getting that makes me nervous.

Physie: You nervous, huh? Let me know the next time you take a hit to brain....

Menty: Smartass! 

Physie: Sticks and stones...Menty - Sticks and stones. 

We move away from the barre and warm up for jumps and then move into our adagio. I'm starting to love forward to the adagio more and more. It's hard because it's all about balance - some days I've got it - other days - TIMBER!!! THER' SHE BLOWS!! FORE!! AND BEEP, BEEP, BEEP (this sounds is often accompanied by large pick up trucks, semi's, fire trucks heading in REVERSE!!) I'm ok tonight and then we learn temps de cuisse - or timing of the thighs - to which I declare out loud: MY TIMING IS OFF!  And it was for the first couple of tries, but even if I was behind a beat - I didn't give up. I just kept doing the move right even if the timing was off. 

I wasn't the only one off tonight. Typically MDB will put the guys in the back of the lines or end of the lines because that's how ballet is done. But tonight the asian guy with the feminine hair kept being in front :). She was really nice about it and let it go until I realized she kept forgetting he was a guy :) That's ok, MDB. 

Can't be on every night.....

13 and Counting...and not babies either!

I taught a private tribal belly dance/tribal fusion workshop to my intermediate student/friend Miss Neat Nancy K before class. I wavered back and forth about going but Nancy decided to hit the sticks, so I toss us both out on our collective asses and drove like a bat outta hell to ballet. 

With the impending blizzard tomorrow, I don't want to be completely without ballet for a week. I belly dance daily - but I MUST go to ballet class because I don't really do well at making myself do it. 

I run into Joel Hall, get registered and beat feet to the studio. I round the corner and BAM!! There are 11 women in class ALREADY!! ACK! 

Side Bar: Where the HELL DID THEY COME FROM?? 

Menty: "They" appear to be multiplying...in triples.

Side Bar: Like got damn bunnies....ugh! BUT the potential for WTF Face is FANTASTIC!!

Menty: Finally! You do have an upside!

Another girl rounds the corner, sees me and just kinda stands there. 

"Are you going to beginner ballet?" I ask.

"Ummm...yeah?" Lil Goth says (Dyed black hair, black eye liner, all black, but nude shoes - don't ask)

"Class is starting. You might want drop the coat and hustle for a spot at the barre." I say. 

"OH! Ok." Lil Goth says and starts moving it too. 

We run in, then run back out to get a barre to put on the floor. So there are 7 people are the stationary barres and 6 of us at the two floor barres. Me and Lil Goth have missed plie combination, but I've been coming long enough that I don't need the combination - but that doesn't mean I always do it right. BUMMER

We move to tendus, where MDB finds it pertinent to tell us that tendu is really battement tendu - which means beating stretch.

Side Bar: Ummm?? Really??

We do our tendus and MDB tells me to watch my hip - it's sticking out. I tell her it's my hoodie jacket. 

She tells me she needs a riding crop..

Side Bar: Yo Mama!! (I said that mentally -even side bar isn't crazy enough to say that out loud ;)

MDB gives us this kinda tricky degage with plie, tombe in there. She can't remember the combination so she tries it again and then asks if that's right. 

Side Bar yells NO!

We all laugh, she remembers and back to work. We make it through our ronde de jambes with fondu (hold the cheese, please - I'm lactose intolerant), frappes, battements in attitude and straight legged. We stretch at the barre and move to the floor combinations. 

There are so many of us in class it's hard to find a place in the mirror. I end up next to Tall Black Chick -who henceforth will be known as the Giraffe. And I mean that in the long legged best way possible. I reminded her NOT to kick me. 

I manage to keep my balance through the adagio and do my jumps at the barre. MDB even through in a little 'folk' jump in there to keep the changements interesting - i.e. meaning I screwed those up :) - sad but true. Then it was time to take it across the floor. MDB starts to count to which I say - There's 13 of us. 

Everyone laughs - but it's just part of my OCB to know.

We handle the floor combinations ok, but some of the advance people and me (I'm not advance - so I'm separate :) applauded the WTF face owners at the ends of their combinations so they felt encouraged. I think it worked. I remember being WTF all the time.

But I must give it to the new WTF face girls - at least I didn't have to sissone, assemblage or glissade tonight ;) 

At the end, one of the newbies/WTF face owners tells us that she took the free Joffrey friday night class, which was taught by Mr. Heinz. Her comments were interesting, but the most rememberable and funny was: OK, so this guy doesn't even speak ENGLISH!! - PRICELESS!!!