Normally Wednesday night ballet with Mr. Heinz starts with my stomachache at 6pm. I start to get nervous. My stomach starts to feel a little queasy, my mouth gets dry, my palms get sweaty. Side Bar goes into full swing:
Side Bar: What fresh hell is Mr. Heinz going to cook up tonight? Some weird count? Some french pastry we've never heard of? Some foreign footwork pattern guaranteed to make me look foolish, silly, or otherwise ready for a strait jacket? Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do you even bother?
Menty: Because I'm not afraid of a challenge, damn it! I would rather stop going because I CAN'T make it instead of chickening out. I CAN DO THIS!
But tonight, I know Spunk is going to be there. I have a friend in class. I will have someone I can roll my eyes with and she will laugh and know that I'm about to royally screw sh*t up! The sisters have also warmed up - but again - I don't know how much of this is because I was so fearful and self-conscious around all of them. Spunk doesn't take the class tonight, but we have business because I'm supporting one of her performances. She's kind enough to stay for the duration of class even if she doesn't take it. I <3 her.
Class gets started and only one of the regulars is in class. The sisters, Spunk and Ms. Curly Hair aren't in class. The older lady is in class, but everyone else is new or not as regular. But considering I've missed a lot of classes - I can't gage.
The whole barre exercise is done facing the barre, which is only slightly a problem since everyone else is at a barre in the center of the floor - and I'm at one attached to the wall. We do basic plies - demis and grandes - repeatedly. We do tendus - first, second, fifth - left side, right side. We do more tendus with a different pattern. We move into degages. When we make it to ronde de jambes, I have to join some of the people at the barre because otherwise I will kick the wall. I catch a glimpse of Spunk who has threatened to take a picture of me in class - ICK!!
Side Bar: Ok, ok, ok - what the hell happened to all the hard shit?
Menty: Maybe he's sick? Or maybe it's because all the new people in class???
Side Bar: Maybe we should get a thermometer! Seriously? Seriously! He has been torturing our ass since last year August with all that really difficult shit and this is the FIRST CLASS OF THE NEW YEAR? I don't know if I'm disappointed or RELIEVED!!
We put the barres away and get ready for floorwork aka the PART I HATE THE MOST! And I'm ready for some crazy combinations of glissade, assemblage, arabesque, changement - blah, blah, blah. No one wants to stand in the front (WHICH I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND), but I figure - screw it - I'm having a spectacular class tonight - I'll embarrass myself in front of all the newbies. He gives us an easy adagio of tendus forward and back - then he changes the tempo, then he changes the tempo again. Then we do glissades very slowly - thank goodness - in each direction. And then he changes tempo - then he changes tempo again. We move into assemblages - again slowly then quickening the pace. He ends the class with four changements with one assemblage which alternates. He makes us do this four times - then four more times - then four more times. After the second round, we think he's done - NOPE - ONE MORE FREAKIN' TIME!! DUDE - IF JUMPING MAKES YOU YOUNG -I'M NOW 16 YEARS OLD!!!!
Mr. Heinz thanks us all for coming to class....we all deep sigh and thank him for class too.
Side Bar: Really? That's it? That's class?
Menty: Maybe it just gets progressively harder?
Side Bar: Or Mr. Heinz's New Year resolution was to actually teach a BEGINNER FREAKIN CLASS!
Menty: Don't know. Don't care. I just finish my first Mr. Heinz's class WITHOUT the usual stomachache, nervousness, mental stress and confusion. I'm considering it a class WELL DONE!!
And so I finished class wondering - ummm...what happened to all the hard shit from last year??
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