It's not just ME Happy

It is hard not to make comparison - between cars, homes, jobs, perceived salaries, clothes, height, weight, body types, skills, talents, hair length, eye color, butt size, etc, etc. 

I think I spend a good deal of class time (MDB primarily and Mr Heinz infrequently) watching others to gage my level of success in class. Some days - it's totally internal and I'm watching myself. Other days, it's totally external and I'm sucking in my tummy a little tighter, attempting to raise my legs a little higher, beating myself up a little more. Those are the days Side Bar runs amok - not just about what's going on in class, but what's going on with me. 

Second company (Joel Hall) came to class tonight. And on a night where I'm shaking off the feelings of craptastic, the last thing I want is a bunch of skinny ass women with more experience and ONE in POINTE SHOES in my beginner class or MDB's beginner class (respectively).  :)

Side Bar: Oh Shit - here they come and here we go.

Menty: Mr Hall's class was cancelled today...they have to take something.

Side Bar: Why don't they take that hard looking modern dance class in the fish bowl? Chickens! They're all CHICKENS!

Menty: And Beginner Ballet is what? Cake??

Side Bar: Oh, Shut up!

Class gets started with 13 women and 1 man. We pull out two bars and get started. Plies, tendus, degages, frappes with beats, retires, plies and paunches - MDBs been in the french kitchen messing with the pastry arrangements, but I'm ok until she speeds them up. MDB says - you know, the 8 year olds love to do things fast. My response: Because they DON'T CARE IF THEY DO IT RIGHT. And away we gooooooooo! I screwed up a few things, a few times, but I fought to keep my composure and did what I could. 

We go to battements - which I still don't do right and I'm starting to hate. I'm torn between trying to practice them at home and not practicing them at home. It's a double edged sword - I'm pretty good with self correcting but I don't have a 5 foot, 90 lb, brunette hanging from my other hip to make sure I'm doing it right....what's a girl to do??? 

But alas, I'm not the only person swinging from the hip - hehehehe! I have another person join my club - which is unfortunate - but misery loves company - and so does crappy dance technique!!! 

We move into center work and I'm having trouble focusing. And I want to say my focus is broken - but it's only funny when your ATTITUDE is broken - so I just keep that to myself. I make it through the center work and we move into echappes and jetes - which I'm pretty sure I'm not doing right. I did them at the barre on the side because I didn't want to get kicked by Jose.  When we move to traveling combos - a second company member says NO WAY JOSE - and he says - Sebastian. 

LOL - ok, Sebastian!!!

We make it through the traveling combos without too many incidents, but even second company struggled. I know this doesn't sound noble or kind or even ethereal - but I was glad to see them struggle, too. I wasn't kick up my heels happy - just thank goodness it's not just ME happy. 

See you tomorrow MDB :)