SO American of Me

Side Bar is starting at home with the mental mind games. 

Side Bar: It's dark. It's cold. It's windy. We should stay home.

Menty: It's Chicago! Get over it. 

Side Bar: We aren't getting any better at ballet....and we are focusing on BOOB reverb instead of springing releves.

Menty: Ok. Sometimes our focus is off, but boob reverb is serious business - two black eyes and a bloody nose is NOT a good look. 

Side Bar: Hey, hey, hey - I'm the funny one. 

Menty: It's Chicago - get over it!

So Side Bar is driving me crazy as I roll into the studio. I just keep thinking - am I getting any better? It is fun, but should proficient also be a goal...should I still be struggling this hard 5 months into ballet while taking 2 to 3 classes a week?? Maybe I should be on the short yellow bus........

I get to class and a different set of regulars are here except for one high schooler.  We are discussing this very matter - wanting to get better. One of the ladies suggest that I would be surprised at how much I know if I took someone else's class and they did a different combo. To which I explained that on occasion I would drop into Mr. Heinz's class - and it didn't make me feel better - it made me feel stupid. A collective OH - went around - then she said it - it's kinda the NON-COMPLIMENT. As a dancer (semi-professional belly dancer), on occasion someone will give you the NON-COMPLIMENT: YOU look like YOU were having fun up there. 

This non-compliment does NOT mean they enjoyed your performance - it does NOT mean they thought you were good or even tolerable - it does NOT mean they liked your performance. That statement isSOLELY about YOU, which is their way of saying SOMETHING that's NOT MEAN.  Beware the NON-COMPLIMENT!

So the class going equivalent: Just do it for the enjoyment.  

Now don't get me wrong - I do go for the enjoyment and I'm definitely NOT getting my kicks from the constant embarrassment, sweaty tee-shirts, and booby jiggling!  But I also want to do a plie, tendu, frappe, arabesque, rond de jamb (en l'air too-dammit), port de bras, etc, etc with proficiency and confidence. 

Anyway, MDB rounds the corner and sweeps us all up in her confident swagger into the room, up to the barres and into our plies. And as usual on Tuesdays, I always want to start in the wrong direction. Don't know why - can't put my finger on it - but Tuesdays I wanna start on the left side.

We move through all the same moves as we did on Monday with a few variations and less boob jiggling because I wore TWO sport bras. What can I say? Some women get bootay and some women get boo-bays!

Only lucky heifers get both - or rich ones with a good plastic surgeon!

MDB also decided to have us lay on the floor when I decided to wear cream colored pants (BOO - HISS), after weeks of wearing black - NOW she wants me to lay on the floor -spread eagle attempting barbie foot! I didn't actually get a chance to check for holiness this time - but I didn't have any air conditioning issues so it must have been ok :) I hope :)

MDB also was working to get my heel forward in retire - but this time she actually asked me if she was hurting me because I automatically squeaked when she touched me. We both laughed and I said no - I'm being a wuss. 

I had a good class. With the usual amounts of laughing and screwing up - but ultimately - I'm being 'so American' - I want a quick fix to a problem or issue that requires work. I want an easy out. I want to be good at ballet after 5 months and 2 classes a week - when everyone that is really GOOD - has been taking classes since they could walk. In the words of my friend, Shannon - I'm going to quit my 'Cry Assing and get on with it.'

When ALMOST doesn't count

I almost played hooky today. It was one of those rare warm October days in Chicago...but since I didn't have any moments of insane creative bliss planned or otherwise, I fumbled around in my dance clothes and pulled on my 'good' quality bellydance pants.

Since my sewing is nowhere near perfect - I have to do the HOLEY check -AND I don't mean in the 'Our Father, Who Art in Heaven' either! Like usual I find a hole in a very embarrassing location - aka near crotch or butt seam. So I sit down at my sewing machine - because I can't put it away due to my random but somehow frequent holey-ness - and zig zag stitch those babies shut. I think most times due to my fondness of black undies - most holes go unnoticed...which is kinda scary!!

So I make it to class and I'm watching Modern dance get under way when MDB breezes around the corner and sweeps up myself and one other student. Class started off with the Swan, the Young One, the Lil Black Chick and me, but the Olsen Twins ran in along with the Brunette.

MDB (sporting one tail tonight) is putting us through our paces and smiling all the while. Since second company wasn't present - except for the Lil Black Chick - she picked at all of us fairly evenly. It seems like all my corrections hurt - tonight was shoulders in the back pockets. 

Side Bar: Now granted - my ass is fairly wide - but putting my shoulders into my back pockets???

Menty: Not actually, but you get the gist.

Side Bar: This can't be good for my chiropractic appointments!

Physie: OH SHIT - SHE'S COMING, SHE'S COMING.

Frankly, I think MDB is mentally rubbing her hands together and giggling inside when she heads in my direction. Whenever she 'fixes' me - some form of protest issues from my lips - that's when she laughs out loud. Most times, she's not really hurting me - I'm just a wuss and it's kinda funny to see the look on her face.

Then she has us practice our releve in a springing motion. The whole time we are practicing I'm thinking about buying a better sports bra. MY TWINS were getting dangerous close to knocking me out! I'm sure MDB thought I was looking at my feet...HAHAHA...I couldn't even see them!! Lil Black Chick is laughing at me because she knows what I'm looking at - and the whole time she's screwing up because she's got reverb too! 

I struggle through the Adagio tonight. My balance was off, but seemed like we were all struggling tonight. 

MDB moved to alternating glissades tonight - which was a blessing and curse. I kinda hate glissades - thanks to Mr Heinz - but at least she didn't glissade into an assemblage....yet...which I really hate. Or maybe I just hate them because I don't really understand how they work yet...I'll keep you posted. 

So I almost played hooky, I almost went to class with holey pants, and I almost didn't have a ballet adventure....but as you know ALMOST - doesn't count :)

Send your friends to my blog - I've closed my notes back to just my friends again:)

It's not just ME Happy

It is hard not to make comparison - between cars, homes, jobs, perceived salaries, clothes, height, weight, body types, skills, talents, hair length, eye color, butt size, etc, etc. 

I think I spend a good deal of class time (MDB primarily and Mr Heinz infrequently) watching others to gage my level of success in class. Some days - it's totally internal and I'm watching myself. Other days, it's totally external and I'm sucking in my tummy a little tighter, attempting to raise my legs a little higher, beating myself up a little more. Those are the days Side Bar runs amok - not just about what's going on in class, but what's going on with me. 

Second company (Joel Hall) came to class tonight. And on a night where I'm shaking off the feelings of craptastic, the last thing I want is a bunch of skinny ass women with more experience and ONE in POINTE SHOES in my beginner class or MDB's beginner class (respectively).  :)

Side Bar: Oh Shit - here they come and here we go.

Menty: Mr Hall's class was cancelled today...they have to take something.

Side Bar: Why don't they take that hard looking modern dance class in the fish bowl? Chickens! They're all CHICKENS!

Menty: And Beginner Ballet is what? Cake??

Side Bar: Oh, Shut up!

Class gets started with 13 women and 1 man. We pull out two bars and get started. Plies, tendus, degages, frappes with beats, retires, plies and paunches - MDBs been in the french kitchen messing with the pastry arrangements, but I'm ok until she speeds them up. MDB says - you know, the 8 year olds love to do things fast. My response: Because they DON'T CARE IF THEY DO IT RIGHT. And away we gooooooooo! I screwed up a few things, a few times, but I fought to keep my composure and did what I could. 

We go to battements - which I still don't do right and I'm starting to hate. I'm torn between trying to practice them at home and not practicing them at home. It's a double edged sword - I'm pretty good with self correcting but I don't have a 5 foot, 90 lb, brunette hanging from my other hip to make sure I'm doing it right....what's a girl to do??? 

But alas, I'm not the only person swinging from the hip - hehehehe! I have another person join my club - which is unfortunate - but misery loves company - and so does crappy dance technique!!! 

We move into center work and I'm having trouble focusing. And I want to say my focus is broken - but it's only funny when your ATTITUDE is broken - so I just keep that to myself. I make it through the center work and we move into echappes and jetes - which I'm pretty sure I'm not doing right. I did them at the barre on the side because I didn't want to get kicked by Jose.  When we move to traveling combos - a second company member says NO WAY JOSE - and he says - Sebastian. 

LOL - ok, Sebastian!!!

We make it through the traveling combos without too many incidents, but even second company struggled. I know this doesn't sound noble or kind or even ethereal - but I was glad to see them struggle, too. I wasn't kick up my heels happy - just thank goodness it's not just ME happy. 

See you tomorrow MDB :)

When to CRY UNCLE

On occasion I have the good sense God gave a peanut to stay in it's shell - but only on occasion...and not this one in particular.

After working a full weekend of Midwest Tribal Mafia (Chicago's one and only Mafia themed Tribal Belly Dancing event) and teaching a 2 hour FLOOR WORK WORKSHOP that included moves called THIGH MASTER SLIDE, BRIDGE, ASSASSIN TURNS and other various lunges, squats and jumps - I SHOULD have SAT my ASS, THIGHS and collective Self at home....BUT NOOOOOOO!!

Menty: We are kinda hurtin for certain - maybe we should stay home?

Side Bar: We can handle it - plus we've been eating like crap all weekend long.  Have you seen our thighs?? They seem to be expanding....

Physie: To hell with both of you - I've been taking muscle ache pain shit and its not working.

Side Bar: We Are Going. Get In The Car.

Physie: Fine! If we hurt ourselves, I can't be held accountable.

I get Joel Hall Center and meet two new chicks to the class. I warn them about MDB (I don't tell them that's her nickname though - too early to frighten the cattle) - she's likely to use crazy visual terminology, etc. They tell me that they have previous experience (ballet through 18 years old - pointe, etc). I tell them they should be fine then. I had no experience at all and I thought MDB was going to whip out a fondu pot and we were going to fry cheese in class - but that in fact was NOT the case :). 

When MDB arrives I introduce her to the two new girls - which makes her laugh that I've already introduced myself to them.  And she says wants to see which tassel I shook for her in the MTM show, but I didn't wear tassels - so I wore a hair clip for her - the large cream color one with the big bling on the side.

MDB gets us started with our plies...and about the 2nd position plie, I realize my left knee is NOT going to make it.

Physie: Menty...........we have a problem. 

Menty: Let's get the kneepad for support. 

Side Bar: So you're saying I'm wrong, huh?

Menty and Physie: SHUT UP!

MDB sees me putting it on and says UH OH! But I don't really have time to explain that I'm an idiot at this time, so I just skip it until we have time to break. I spend most of the barre part of class thinking about my knee. When we get to battements, I make it through, but I still ask MDB for assistance. 

MDB - ever dramatic -makes me stand next to the piano, steps on my left foot, and holds down my hips so I can lift my right leg only - no hip action. It really is an isolation, but I'm cheating. So here I am with MDB hanging off my hips trying to keep them down - AND IM TRYING MY DAMNEDEST NOT TO LAUGH! I always mention how little she is, but it's not until someone's head is level with your armpit trying to keep you FROM doing something that it hits home. 

Side Bar: MAYBE this isn't the BEST WAY to stop my hips....

Menty: But it's pretty damn funny

Side Bar: That's for sure!

The two new chicks are trying to decide if this is funny -haha or funny-strange and then MDB grants them the Barbie leg imagery that endears her to my heart- IF YOU COULD IMAGINE BARBIE AND THEN RIP HER LEGS OFF. Two new chicks had been warned....but their faces are kinda looking like - should we run for it or have the black chick sit on her?? :)

We put the barres away and go into the floor and traveling combos, which challenge my body and balance in different ways due to all the aching. We go back to jetes - which I must do at the barre, but I did finally get or mostly get the waltz turn which is really pretty when you aren't scare of it. 

So I get home and dump myself into a hot bath. Only problem is I had to figure out HOW TO GET OUT OF IT! 

I am going to class tonight, but I'm going much better today than yesterday...I mean with muscle soreness. 

Learning to Walk before Running....with Scissors

Yesterday was all black day in MDB's class. There was 7 women in class - none from second company (thank goodness!) and we all wore black. It almost never happens in ballet - tribal belly dance - every other day for sure. Ballet - hideous flesh tone tights - almost every other class for sure :)

MDB starts us off with plies (like most instructors do). We are coasting along until MDB whips out the dreaded notebook paper.

THEN we go into frappes with petit battement beats when she adds a little tidbit that lets you know she's not really dealing with a full deck:
MDB says she was curious about petit battements one day, so she put CHALK BETWEEN HER TOES AND DREW THE LINES IN THE GROUND.....

 Side Bar: Ok....I'm thinking she said that because she knew I would type it...
Menty: Well..you know she's got a thing for Barbie too
Side Bar: How many GROWN adults do you know with TOE chalk sitting around??
Menty: You got me there!!

Then MDB gives us a degage combination on CRACK and SPEED!  We had to do degages in first, second, and fifth (in the shape of the cross so to speak). When she turned on the break neck speed music - we TRIED to do the first side and all stopped and started looking at each other in mirror. MDB burst out laughing...and so do we because it's kinda funny - US trying to do it and the LOOKS on our FACES trying to do it - everyone had WTF FACE!! MDB says that she could give us a slower song, but I stopped her.

I know what we are suppose to do - we know what degages are. If I didn't know what it was at all - I would have asked for the slower song. On the assumption that I am, in fact, performing a degage correctly - increasing the tempo is ackward, but NOT IMPOSSIBLE. So I stopped her from picking a slower song and VOLUNTEERED the whole class to do it at break neck speed. I'm typing this so no one actually killed, kicked or degaged me in the head. MDB, laughing instructor extraordinarie, says well how else are you going to learn it fast if you don't do it?, smiles, laughs and hits PLAY! And way we go....it was pretty much a seven car pile up - with some doing better than others - but it was fun and funny- per MDB's laughter :)

We move into battements, which I'm still struggling with. You would think the action of swinging one's leg straight front, side and back would be fairly simple. MDB wonders over to me and asks me a bombshell question: What is YOUR goal for battements? I think I stood stupid for a beat (standing stupid aka without mental capacity to formulate an intelligent response - emphasis on intelligent) when MDB continued. 'Is it height?' she asks. She said she wouldn't touch me (LOL), but she told me to think about it as pulling my hip down - which of course makes me draw in my stomach - DON'T ASK - sometimes I don't own my body - I just visit.

I was able to do the slow floor combination and fast floor and travelling combinations with varying degrees of accuracy and grace, but mostly being grateful to stay on my feet and off my ass (which happens to be getting rounder every other week - maybe it is trying to climb my back and kill me??)

But now that I think about MDB's question - What is MY goal for battements? Ultimately led me to What is My goal for ballet?? My short term goal for battements is to do them right/accurately - height is optional. My goal for ballet - other than utter, sheer enjoyment and complete humiliation - is to be a better dancer.

SO MDB, next class - you, me - your hands, my hips - battements!  I'll bring you some mittens :)

Other Options

So it eventually occurs to me that I'm not going to stay with MDB throughout my ballet adventures. Eventually, the title will have to change to Adventures in Ballet I, II, III...where the hell is the infinity sign??

MDB teaches Ballet Fundamentals and Beginner/Ballet I - and while I am in NO danger of moving into Ballet I without some serious pep talking and another 5 months worth of Beginner, part of me knows that I will stay in one place longer than necessary because I'm too chicken to move. (Prime example of a 30 something just signing up for beginner ballet.)

So in order to prep myself, I've decided that I should probably step outside of my MDB circle and experience other teachers. You all know about Mr. Heinz and Ms. Mexican Food eater. Ms. Mexican Food teaches Sunday beginner/ballet I class. So I pack up my 5 months of beginner ballet experience, toss it into my civic and head over to Joel Hall. 

Looks like class is going to be small - I roll in 5 minutes late - not on purpose. Hell - you can't pick the time a really genius or really stupid idea will strike - and there's only 3 of us....AND then second company dancers arrive. 

Second company is the second level of dancers for Joel Hall performances. They are only second because they aren't first. I think First company is full. Second company dancers have been taking classes in all the dance formats in Joel Hall's studio for months now - i.e. that hellish intensive with 7 classes a week for 2 or 3 months, etc, etc. I think one day I may drink the second company KOOL AID, but for now water is FINE!!

Class is up to 8 people and MMF instructor starts with tendus.

Side Bar: Umm...can she do that? Start with tendus instead of plies?

Menty: Her class...her world...we are just visiting.

Physie: PAY ATTENTION!

Side Bar: It's just tendus' - calm down. 

It seems to be going ok, until I realize MMF is the type of instructor that corrects you as you are going. I've never been good at doing and listening at the same time...which just makes this class THAT much more interesting. 

I don't know if MMF thought we were all second company or not, but those combinations got harder quickly - and then she started messing with timing as well. And next thing I know I'm trying to do a frappe, pique, petit battement in first, second and fifth arabesque position at 5 times the normal speed. NOW mind you - I'm not use to this combination to begin with and it's really fast - so I'm concentrating really hard - THEN she calls my name to give me some correction - which 1) makes me stop moving, 2) makes me blind rapidly, and 3) give her WTF face!!! I can't listen to you correct me and keep moving super fast and get all the moves in. Something has got to give!

Again, mind you, I know each teacher is different, but there are just some things I can appreciate. Humor is definitely one of them. MMF has got a great sense of humor, but I don't think talking to me while you have this ridiculously FAST combo with all these damn moves in them is funny..,..AT ALL...EVER.

We step away from the barre and instead of going into slow part, we move into a fast moving center floor combo involving tombes and turning madness, which I do ok with...the tombe, pas de bouree part - the turning madness...whole OTHER story. Then we do traveling combos with MORE turns - pique turns with right leg leading are difficult - but left leg leading - no problem. Then she threw in three pique turns, something called a LAME DUCK, back into pique turns - at which point Side Bar, Menty and Physie took 10 - and I stood there with OH SHIT FACE! 

Then she moved to glissades and assemblages - but Side Bar, Menty and Physie were still checked out - so I placated myself with just trying to do glissades without assemblages - and then assemblages without glissades. 

Seeing as I'm going to see MDB tonight and Mr Heinz on Wednesday - any little bit of self confidence I had built up over the last few months of ballet should be in tatters on the ground by Wednesday night. Thanks goodness Midwest Tribal Mafia is this weekend - I kick ass at tribal belly dancing :) and I'm going to party like it's my birthday :) - because it will be!